Roach Fries
Well isn’t this timely? Maybe I should heed this piece of advice. But that doesn’t change the fact that my blood pressure is through the fucking roof.

Source: fuckinghomepage.tumblr.com

Well isn’t this timely? Maybe I should heed this piece of advice. But that doesn’t change the fact that my blood pressure is through the fucking roof.

Source: fuckinghomepage.tumblr.com

Vocal Cord Removal

Not that I will literally remove the offender(s)’s vocal cords, but I will fantasize about it for probably the next 6 months or so. If there is one goal I have in life, it’s to not get arrested, so I also cannot say these words to those who have apparently wronged me today, but know this: Through all my mental energy I will wish that your life/lives are hell and perhaps the energy of the universe will do my bidding for me. Because you get nothing good out of talking shit on people.

Spreading lies, trying to ruin relationships. I will ruin my own relationships, thank you. I don’t need help doing so. Fuckers.

Pencil drawing of puffins. Based on a photo from National Geographic.

Pencil drawing of puffins. Based on a photo from National Geographic.

Dead pine tree painting I did for art class last semester. Based on a photo from some kid in Australia.

Dead pine tree painting I did for art class last semester. Based on a photo from some kid in Australia.

Things I’d Rather Do Than Be At Work at 5 a.m.

1. Sleep

2. Read a book

3. Watch infomercials

4. Math homework

5. Watch paint dry

—This list may be occasionally updated to reflect a higher degree of disdain for my current job.

Public Notice

FYI middle-aged men, just because I talk to you (because we work together) and am nice to you (also because we work together) DOES NOT MEAN that I want your cock.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

A word to those who drive trucks and SUV’s

Hey you. Yeah, you, dickwad. In that lifted 4x4 truck that you totally need in a suburban setting. Remember how you spent that money getting your truck/suv lifted? Well guess what? Not only is your vehicle large enough and actually made for going over bumps with ease, but the fact that you are an extra 6 inches off the ground makes it even easier to get over bumps.

Thinking about those things, tell me why the fuck every person in a 4x4 truck or SUV that I get behind to pull into a parking lot PUSSYFOOTS it over that little 1.5 inch bump of a curb from the street. My shitty old Camry that is 6 inches off the ground can handle it. You have a vehicle that was MADE TO CLIMB MOUNTAINS and you come to a complete stop to pull over a tiny curb. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Black light drinkin’

Black light drinkin’

Late Night Boozery

Thought of the night : Wine + Afghan Whigs + 3am equals Delightful.

Suicide attempt?  Or just bad decision making?

Suicide attempt? Or just bad decision making?