Roach Fries

What he says from 6:58 to 7:02 is a perfect summation of my life right now.

Because I’m turning into a lifer at the behemoth I never wanted to work for again.

Quickie sketch of Flava Flav and his gold rings. 
oil pastels and graphite.

Quickie sketch of Flava Flav and his gold rings.

oil pastels and graphite.

Cat and Mouse
8”x10” acrylic on canvas panel.

-This is my latest painting . Trying to figure out the wet-in-wet process for shadows and highlights, while still using cheap craft paint. My daughter likes it, so that’s all that matters (the idea was geared toward kids anyway).

my shit is copyrighted, yo. (c) c. webster, 2014.

Cat and Mouse

8”x10” acrylic on canvas panel.

-This is my latest painting . Trying to figure out the wet-in-wet process for shadows and highlights, while still using cheap craft paint. My daughter likes it, so that’s all that matters (the idea was geared toward kids anyway).

my shit is copyrighted, yo. (c) c. webster, 2014.

My latest work, at the request of my 3 year old daughter. 
I decided that I want to do something with my spare time that also didn’t feel like a waste of said spare time. So I took up painting. This is my third ever painting.
"Pink Kitty Eating"
5x7 acrylic on canvas.

My latest work, at the request of my 3 year old daughter.

I decided that I want to do something with my spare time that also didn’t feel like a waste of said spare time. So I took up painting. This is my third ever painting.

"Pink Kitty Eating"

5x7 acrylic on canvas.

Well isn’t this timely? Maybe I should heed this piece of advice. But that doesn’t change the fact that my blood pressure is through the fucking roof.

Source: fuckinghomepage.tumblr.com

Well isn’t this timely? Maybe I should heed this piece of advice. But that doesn’t change the fact that my blood pressure is through the fucking roof.

Source: fuckinghomepage.tumblr.com

Vocal Cord Removal

Not that I will literally remove the offender(s)’s vocal cords, but I will fantasize about it for probably the next 6 months or so. If there is one goal I have in life, it’s to not get arrested, so I also cannot say these words to those who have apparently wronged me today, but know this: Through all my mental energy I will wish that your life/lives are hell and perhaps the energy of the universe will do my bidding for me. Because you get nothing good out of talking shit on people.

Spreading lies, trying to ruin relationships. I will ruin my own relationships, thank you. I don’t need help doing so. Fuckers.

Pencil drawing of puffins. Based on a photo from National Geographic.

Pencil drawing of puffins. Based on a photo from National Geographic.

Dead pine tree painting I did for art class last semester. Based on a photo from some kid in Australia.

Dead pine tree painting I did for art class last semester. Based on a photo from some kid in Australia.

Things I’d Rather Do Than Be At Work at 5 a.m.

1. Sleep

2. Read a book

3. Watch infomercials

4. Math homework

5. Watch paint dry

—This list may be occasionally updated to reflect a higher degree of disdain for my current job.

Public Notice

FYI middle-aged men, just because I talk to you (because we work together) and am nice to you (also because we work together) DOES NOT MEAN that I want your cock.

Thank you. Have a nice day.